Canda dan bercanda dan apa yang menyertanya

A     :     “Kamu ngomongin apa sih?”

B     :     “Ngga, aku kan cuma bercanda…”

                

Canda. Berdasarkan Kamus Besar Bahasa Indonesia, canda berarti senda gurau atau kelakar. Kata benda dari guyonan, objek yang harus ditemukan oleh seorang pelawak agar disebut berhasil dalam melakukan profesinya. Banyak aspek yang dapat di-explore oleh seseorang agar dapat menemukan hal menarik untuk dijadikan bahan candaan. Semua orang dapat dikategorikan sebagai penyuka guyonan, karena setiap orang membutuhkan tawa. Dan hal itu bisa didapatkan jika ia merasa tertarik dengan sebuah candaan.

Masalahnya, apakah sebuah canda berarti lucu bagi semua orang?

                 

A few months ago, I did watch one television program dari sebuah saluran local. Hampir seluruh pembawa acaranya berusaha untuk saling melempar bahan pembicaraan yang semuanya lelucon. Satu hal yang menarik perhatian saya, they also tried to talk about the disabilities or the lacks of one person without feeling guilty, sepertinya berpikir bahwa hal itu akan menjadi bahan tertawaan baru. Mungkin itu tuntutan script, I don’t really know. Tetapi kemudian saya mencoba untuk menempatkan diri sebagai orang yang ter-bully *well, anggap saja seperti itu*, and I don’t think it is fun at all. It hurts, no matter what. Apa yang mereka anggap lelucon sepertinya tidak akan bisa dikategorikan sebagai bahan tertawaan bagi si obyek penderita, bahkan cenderung menyakiti perasaan dan mental si obyek.

Maybe some of my readers will say, “ya, mereka dibayar untuk melakukan hal tersebut,” dan menganggap sudut pandang saya kali ini lebay. If you are, I am sorry to disappoint you because I am not thinking so. Seharusnya profesi yang ia kerjakan tidak membuatnya merasa disakiti secara mental. Coba saja telaah lagi kontrak kerjanya, seharusnya ia memiliki perlindungan atas kekerasan mental yang ia terima. Yap, kekerasan mental. Isn't it? Mungkin ybs ada toleransi di awal mula, tetapi percayalah lama-kelamaan ia akan merasa ‘hina’ bahkan ‘tersinggung’ atas setiap candaan yang ia terima. Bukan hanya itu, orang-orang sekitarnya akan ikut memiliki pemikiran tentangnya berdasarkan hinaan yang sering mereka dengar tentang orang tersebut. Lebih buruk lagi, media ikut ‘menabur benih’ tentang hinaan itu, sehingga banyak orang akan berpikir bahwa kondisi tersebut adalah sesuatu yang sah atau wajar untuk ditertawakan, sehingga norma tentang lawakan menjadi sedikit ‘bergeser’ ke arah ejekan.

Seriously, I am thinking that way.

 Ah, berbicara tentang media dan candaan, a few moment ago I did scroll one of my sosmed. Salah satu dari teman saya memposting a picture which is a bit…annoying for me. Perhaps it is a joke for him and his friends, karena saya melihat banyak likes menempel pada postingannya. Gambarnya sih simple, ada dua foto yang dijadikan satu. Di sebelah kiri adalah foto seorang gadis kecil dengan lendir dari hidung berwarna bening berceceran di sekitar atas bibir dan mulutnya, sementara di sebelah kanan adalah foto wanita muda dengan situasi yang nyaris sama hanya saja ekspresinya 'sedikit' berbeda dan lendirnya berwarna putih susu.

I don’t want to explain more, karena sebenarnya hal seperti ini tuh joke terselubung. Whether you want to admit that you understand it or not.

Itu hanya salah satunya, dimana banyak teman-teman lelaki saya melakukan postingan serupa, dimana objeknya adalah wanita. Mungkin bagi mereka hal tersebut lucu, but for me, it makes me realize how dirty their mind is. Bagaimana mereka menyukai fantasi seksual dengan wanita sebagai obyeknya etc etc, dan hal itu membuat saya cukup banyak ilfeel. Nope, saya cukup tahu bahwa isi otak lelaki memang punya konten bokep jauh lebih banyak dari wanita, hanya saja jika imajinasi mereka disampaikan dalam forum yang lebih tertutup, share dengan teman-teman terdekat saja, mungkin akan lebih baik. Masalahnya, postingan itu ada di sebuah media social dimana banyak juga wanita yang akan melihat dan membaca postingan tersebut. Dan ketika mereka membacanya, menurut ngana wanita ngga akan merasa –at least, sedikit- terluka? Have you ever think that your daughter, your wife, your girlfriend, your mother, your lovely aunt, are also a women?

ini hanya contoh, sih. secara terselubung, wanita dijadikan obyek. ya kan?

Forum yang lebih tertutup bukan berarti anda sebagai lelaki bisa langsung melakukan private chat dengan wanita tertentu untuk berbicara tentang imajinasi terselubung anda atau dirty jokes , absolutely not. Kecuali anda dengan wanita itu memiliki hubungan special, atau mungkin wanita tersebut sudah anda booking dengan biaya tertentu, itu lain cerita. Jika tidak, itu namanya anda tidak punya etika. Setampan atau sekaya apapun lelaki, attitude comes first. Jika anda tidak memiliki hal tersebut, you are not even have any difference with trash. Bahkan sampah masih dapat didaur ulang, sepertinya isi dari otak anda tidak ada lagi yang dapat dipergunakan.

wajah dari wanita saya samarkan, siapa tau si wanita udah mau tobat upload foto semi model begini...

 This is my blog, so I can share about anything. Right? Ini sedikit sampel dari attitude yang levelnya tiarap, sih. Masa iya, saya disamakan dengan wanita yang tengah selfie half naked? Kalau disamakan dengan teteh Miranda Kerr sih, okelah. LOL. Ngga oke juga, sih. It is ABSOLUTELY WEIRD to send your stranger *I can't say friend because I don't feel like it* an almost nude picture. Please. Ditambah, start chat dikim sekitar jam sepuluh malam, what were you dong or thinking that time sampai  anda bisa mendapatkan dan mengirimkan gambar seperti itu ke saya?

Iseng, saya mencoba mencari arti kata bercanda pada Kamus Besar Bahasa Indonesia. Ternyata, salah satu pengertian dari kata tersebut adalah ‘bertingkah’. Mungkin, beberapa orang harus mulai mengurangi porsi 'bertingkah' mereka. Mungkin, beberapa orang harus mulai menghargai perasaan orang sekitar mereka. Mungkin, beberapa orang harus mulai belajar mengenai apa yang benar dan apa yang salah. Mungkin loh, mungkin. Saya hanya menyampaikan apa yang ada di otak saya saat ini.

In short, let's upgrade our attitude.

03082015

Senin (koma) Tiga Agustus Dua Ribu Lima Belas (titik)

As usual, akhir-akhir ini aku hanya menulis ketika bertemu dengan momen tertentu, yang sebenarnya butuh diutarakan bukan secara verbal, tetapi lewat kata. Tersusun terlebih dahulu. Karena salah penggunaan satu saja kata, akan membuat keseluruhan makna berubah total. Te-o-te-a-el.

Happy one year anniversary, us! [Insert Comfortable-John Mayer here] I am blessed to know you. You will never understand how happy I am for knowing you. Wait, perhaps happy is not a correct one to describe my feeling. I never feel so comfortable to anybody before, and you push me to be comfortable with you. Aku ngga berharap kamu mengerti how hard it is for me untuk bisa bercerita banyak at first; not only about problems, but almost everything. You teach me that I have to share my thought to other person except myself. To make myself keep alive. Biar aku ngga gila sendirian. Dan proses sampai aku bisa menginterpretasikan isi otak aku sama kamu itu sebenernya... cukup berat. Seriously hard. Because I never did that before. But I did it, thanks to you. Because you push me to.

I lost a lot while being with you, one of them is friend. But thanks to this relationship, I understand what friend means ehe. They say there is a rule in friendship; priority, appreciate each other, understand, trust, and so many more. But people do mistake, include me. I were blind for you, and I were choose you as my priority rather than my friend. Some of them are leaving since I don’t choose them, and the others are staying. At this rate, it feels like reality try to divide my friends in some level. The funniest part, I ever became a judge for my friend at this kind of case a few times ago. Time passed by, now I know how it is feel to be in her shoes LOL.

Sebenernya sih, my mind like to play some tricks on me. Seringkali aku mikir, lebih banyak rasa sayang aku ke kamu atau rasa sayang kamu ke aku? And everytime I have this kind of thought, I will pull myself into reality, feelin scared to be the one who loving you too much, dan berakhir dengan berusaha cool ketika ngebales chat kamu atau berusaha untuk ngga kesel ketika kamu hanya balas chat dengan “ok” stuff. And at the next time, aku akan ‘bales dendam’ dengan hanya membalas chat with “ok” only without embel-embel, berharap kamu ngerasain apa yang aku rasain. Dan berakhir dengan aku capek sendiri, sedih sendiri, patah hati sendiri. Aku beneran mikir sampai sejauh itu, loh. You can laugh as much as you want, whatever. I just want to write the truth.
Terkadang (here I just write it as ‘terkadang’, yang memiliki makna setara dengan sedikit dibawah ‘always’) I am also thinking about you and your past. Iya bener, kamu emang anak gaul. Banget. I am curious about how did you spend your time with your ex, what makes you want to be with them, etc. And I am scared that I can’t give you an exact goosebumps like when you are in love with your ex before. Geez, writing this makes me feel sad. Aku ngerasa ngga pede, damn. And I hate this feeling. Jujur, hal ini sering bikin aku nyesel udah suka sama kamu. Because you are a kind of unreachable person. Bahkan sampai saat ini, I am still thinking that way. Deep in thought, I feel like you are far enough.

I still can’t say that you are the best one for me because I don’t know how to categorize the best or else. But you have to know that, kamu sudah berhasil membuat aku merasa membutuhkan kamu banget. Even your presence is enough. Even your warm hands will be enough. Need you much, until I don’t have any courage to imagine what will I become if I am without you *ahasek*.

Ps: don’t write back. I know this is feel so alay, but I just want to tell you my thought. And thank you, for everything :)

Blacklisted, Lotte Shopping Avenue

Another day to having fun! Raiyt naw I’m trying to write a review about one of good restaurant located in Jakarta. At first, me and my boyfie don’t have any plan to eat here (we were just walking around without any destination), but then we are curious enough to have a meal here.

Located at the first floor of Lotte Shopping Avenue, you will see this place as a good place to hang out with your best friends or spend time alone with a cup of coffee. But when I was there, this place is a bit full with people.

Blacklisted

While we were here, we tried some good food.

• BAD (Bacon Absolutely Delicious) Burger (around 75.000 IDR)

Well yeah, this is my first time trying a black burger. This burger contains an Australian beef patty, beef bacon streaks, bacon jam, grilled apple, lettuce, melted cheese and served along with nachos. Honestly, I don’t really think that burger will be match with nachos. But I do adore the taste that comes from the bacon, apple grilled and its sauce. This is a good main meal to have here!

• Norwegian Salmon (around 98.000 IDR)

Since I have a very good relationship with salmon, I do always adore the taste of this kind of fish no matter what *ehe*. Blacklisted knows well how to present a luxurious salmon with lemon butter sauce, mashed potato and also sautéed vegetables. Trust me, you will love this one.

•  French Chocolate Marshmallow (around 42.000 IDR)

My favorite!

Actually, I am craving for some sweet stuff that time. When I read there is a French Chocolate served with Marshmallow Brulee, right that time I believe this menu was belong to me *lebay*. Honestly, this drink will taste too sweet for you who doesn’t like sweetness that much, but not for me. It tastes very delicious when you let the marshmallow melted inside your tongue with the chocolate <3

Actually, they also have manual brewed coffee here, from Aeropress until Cold Drip. But I have no time to taste them all. Perhaps next time, I will come here again and having a day with their coffee with myself only. Since I stayed at Jakarta, I have to make sure that I can face the traffic and the route to this place that’s a bit confusing. Well, I think I need a kind of personal car which has a small size but excellence performance, is it? And somehow, the car that comes into my mind is Toyota Agya.

Cool, isn't it?

Besides, this car has a big space for luggage and also a pretty exterior design, match with my character who loves to be stylist everytime *HA!*

For sure, I have to set the time!

(price here exclude 5% Service Tax and 10% PB1)

Blacklisted

Lotte Shopping Avenue,

1st floor Unit 9

South Jakarta

Holiday trip, JOGJAKARTA!

HELLO!

Long time no see, kangennya ngga ketulungan deh buat nulis disini. And guess what? Now I'm going to share to you my last week trip to Jogjakarta!
Hohoho.

It is me, my big brother Bang Monce, my best friend Checong and her fiancee (aminin ya, biar mereka bisa cepet bagi undangan) Erwin. Sebenernya sih, ini bukan kali pertama gue jalan-jalan ke Jogja, tapi gue selalu ngerasa kalau Jogja itu punya cerita cantik untuk dibagi :)

First, we were go to Sri Gethuk, di Gunung Kidul. Disini kita bisa menyusuri sungai dengan rakit atau langsung rafting untuk jalan (re: berenang) ke air terjunnya. This place is seriously amazing. Pesan gue, kalau jalan kesini kudu basah total! Mending bawa baju ganti deh, biar ngga nanggung main airnya. Dan jangan lupa bawa kamera anti air atau pelindung hape buat narsis. 

Flare disitu bukan editan loh, asli!

Then we visit Pantai Indrayanti. Awalnya pengen ke Pantai Sundak, tapi wisata sebelumnya udah kesana, jadi kita nyobain dateng ke pantai yang satu ini. Lebih ramai dari pantai2 lainnya di sepanjang jalan, but I prefer Pantai Sundak sih. Lebih kece. But Indrayanti is also perfect *halah*. Pantai Indrayanti kayaknya agak lebih landai, 'cause when we were there, kebetulan banget ada 2 orang yang hanyut ke tengah laut :| Ngga mau mikir ke arah mistis sih, tapi itu emang agak... menyeramkan. Berakhir dengan satu orang selamat sementara yang satu lagi ngga bisa diselamatkan. A bit horror, it is. Foto di Indrayanti yang gue share disini adalah sebelum insiden itu :|

Mirip banget sama salah satu spot di Bali ya?

Bosen mantai, kita naik ke atas, tepatnya Kebun Buah Mangunan. The view here is extremely amazing, cocok banget untuk kalian yang suka ngeliatin betapa ijo-nya Indonesia atau buat kalian yang pengen punya background kece untuk narsis. Saran sih, jangan pakai sendal biasa, khawatir licin. Dan sediakan kamera dengan batere full buat narsis. Kalau beruntung dan cuaca bagus, coba dateng kesini pagi-pagi, dan kamu akan berhasil dapet sunrise dan ngerasa lagi berdiri diatas awan. Sayangnya kita kesini pas udah agak sore (well, blame on our 'minim' time). But still, selama matahari masih ada kayaknya view disini ngga akan pernah mengecewakan :)

Matanya ilang semua :))

Beralih dari Gunung Kidul, gue dan rombongan kembali ke Kota. Disini, kita stay di salah satu penginapan di daerah Sleman, Jogjakarta. Nama tempatnya Tiga Lima Home Stay.

Pyjamas parteh!

 We were having so much fun! Nongkrong di salah satu kafe es krim di daerah penginapan, menyusuri jalan Malioboro (well, shopping is the must thing to do. Raiyt?), makan nasi goreng babi, bahkan sempet muterin satu gang Sarkem (tempat prostitusi yang ada di belakang wilayah Malioboro) untuk sekedar ngeliat-liat yang berakhir dengan dipelototin balik sama mba2-nya dan dikira salah jalan sama pelanggan2 disana :p

Selama muterin jalan di Jogja, kita bener2 bergantung sama google map (walaupun Checong sama Erwin udah jauh lebih sering ke Jogja, tapi tetep aja kita butuh panduan jalan), dan gue shock ternyata banyak wilayah Jogja yang wujudnya berupa gang2 kecil dan jalanan nyempil. Google map sering banget ngasih alternatif jalan kecil dan gang yang sering bikin degdegan, antara ada ujungnya atau ngga -_- seriously I wish I could have Agya keluaran Toyota at this time, ukuran mobilnya yang mungil pasti cocok banget untuk dibawa muter-muter wilayah Jogja. Belom lagi bensinnya yang irit, duh mupeng banget untuk manusia2 sekelas gue yang kantongnya ngga tebel :))

In short, gue ngga akan pernah bosen sama Jogja. Besides of its mystique aura, Jogja bener2 udah jadi tempat wisata gokil yang ngga bikin kantong terlalu terkuras :))

Catch you on my next trip!

What is the right thing to do?

Just co-pas and little edit, from a stranger and perhaps a friend wanna be.

What is "right"?
Owning a slave isnt right today,
But 1000 years ago, it was rightful.
Even more years, if you were a king, you could just fuck a random woman, rape her and all, and you would have her as your wife - this, according to Bible, was the right thing to do.
Now? I dont think so.
In Indonesia, being a Muslim is a right thing to do - or at least being religious.
Rewind a thousand years ago, being Hindu was the right thing to do. Even more years, being an animist was the right thing to do.
Now, succeeding in life economically is the right thing to do. As well as being a doctor or an engineer.
Centuries ago, being a mayor was the right thing to do, as well as being a good wife who stayed her whole life in a kitchen.
Not even a century ago, smoking was the right thing to do when you were sick.
Now, by not smoking, is the right thing to do when you are sick.
Now, war isnt the right thing to do to solve a big problem.
Centuries ago, war is the right thing to do to solve a big problem.
Lets stop seeing it from time to time,
Lets start seeing it from place to place.
In Indonesia, being virgin until marriage is the right thing to do.
In Russia, not being virgin after 18yo is the right thing to do.
In Indonesia, not criticizing religions is the right thing to do.
In Europe, criticizing religions is the right thing to do.
In Sweden, a rapist treated with psychological and social treatment is the right thing.
In Iran, a rapist treated with stones to the head until death is the right thing.
Whether you see it throughout the time or place,
Whether you see it from my point of view or else,
I dont think we can know the truly "right".
Or maybe, just maybe,
Rightness itself doesnt exist,
And we are deluding ourselves, the rightness should exist.
In conclusion,
There is no right path,
There is only a path you choose.

Credit to: Mario.